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She took acting lessons, joined a book club, and became devoted to yoga. My new pursuits nourished my soul, but I have to say they did zip for my love life." Marla realized that if she wanted to start dating again, she'd have to think a bit more strategically.

The result: She met tons of smart, funny and fascinating... Because contrary to popular opinion, men are out there.

From there, you might both decide that dinner is the best option. Guys who weren't popular in high school make excellent boyfriends. Don't go to that super-trendy night spot filled with icy women in towering heels and snarky men in shiny shirts.

On the other hand, a nice middle manager (during the day) indulging in some innocent rock-star fantasies (by night) could be just the ticket. ' You'll learn about his path of life so far, including education and goals," says Nina Atwood, author of Be Your Own Dating Service: A Step-by-Step Guide to Finding and Maintaining Healthy Relationships (Henry Holt, 1996).

But if he makes you laugh, you may be willing to put up with the occasional bout of insecurity. Even if you know nothing about the game, you can still enjoy sitting outside on a summer night with a bag of peanuts and a hot dog.

And breaking the ice is easy: A simple "Your routine was hilarious" (preceded, of course, by hearty laughter) should do the trick. The beer line should be packed with fans; so get behind a cute one and ask him about his favorite team, advises a 39-year-old from Vancouver. Next Saturday night take a bunch of your girlfriends to a nightclub that hosts local bands. If you've been meaning to do some meet-and-greets as a way of boosting your career, here's some added incentive: Business conferences and seminars are filled with smart, ambitious men with whom you can talk shop.

My friend Marla used to believe that meeting a man was as easy as following her bliss.

After she and her long-term boyfriend broke up, Marla decided to pursue the interests she had neglected when she was in a relationship. I made some wonderful friends and expanded my horizons.

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